If I Were the Devil: The War On Love Podcast

War on Love Podcast — Show Notes
Shame: The Enemy's Favorite Weapon (Series Premiere)
Recorded: Tuesday, July 21
I know, I know. It's not Monday. And honestly, that's kind of the point of this whole episode.
I want to take you through my day yesterday, because this is real-life spiritual warfare, and it doesn't always look like how we think it's going to look. This is the start of a series I've been sitting on for a while, on shame, because I don't think it gets talked about nearly enough in our churches. Shame has been present since Genesis, and it is still one of the biggest things I see keeping people (including me) stuck.
Here's what actually happened yesterday morning.
I needed to leave the house by 6am to take my son Kyle to his freshman orientation, about two and a half hours away. I hadn't recorded this episode yet, which I'd committed to doing on Mondays. So I woke up around 2 or 3am with racing thoughts, the kind of anxiety that hits you in that liminal space between sleep and being fully awake, when your logical brain hasn't caught up yet.
And my mind just kept rolling. First it was, "I have so much to do, maybe Derek should take Kyle instead." Then I caught myself and remembered my own values: God first, family second, I show up for my kids. So I let that go. But then the fear hit again: if I go with Kyle, I won't get the podcast done. Then comparison: there are podcasters so much better than me who have it together. Then hopelessness: why even do this podcast at all. And then it went somewhere deeper. A thought landed on who Derek and I even are to be coaching other couples through emotional intimacy, when we're still working through our own.
I recognized what that was. Fear. Shame. Comparison. Doubt. All of it pulling me straight out of my value system, none of it from the Lord.
So I got up, sat down with my journal and my Word, and spent the next three hours right there with the Lord before Kyle and I ever left the house. That's actually where this episode came from.
What I Want You to Know About Shame
Hate isn't the opposite of love. Fear is. And shame produces fear, which produces more shame. It's a cycle, and it interrupts our ability to love God, love ourselves, and love other people.
I've come to believe that all forms of addiction, whether it's alcohol, workaholism, striving, comparison, are illegitimate ways of meeting legitimate needs. Shame is what drives us there. As a trauma therapist, I'll tell you honestly: a lot of the diagnoses I see (depression, social anxiety, addiction) have shame sitting underneath them. Deal with the shame, and sometimes the symptom picture changes entirely.
I keep coming back to Genesis 3 on this. Genesis 2:25 says Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed. Then the fall happens, and by Genesis 3:7 they're sewing fig leaves together to cover themselves. That's the original mask. That's still what we're doing today, just with better fabric.
The antidote to shame isn't more hiding. It's vulnerability. It's coming out of it. That's part of why I'm telling you all this before I'd even told my own husband. I didn't share my wrestle with Derek until last night. The enemy loves to point out that inconsistency, that I coach people on intimacy while still working through my own instinct toward self-sufficiency. And I want you to know I'm not pretending to have arrived. None of us do. That's the whole point.
Shame Indicator Checklist
I read this list on the episode because most people who carry shame don't actually recognize it as shame. Go through it slowly. See what lands.
I feel bad for having needs
I'm sensitive and easily hurt or offended
I have a hard time accepting compliments
I feel lonely and unable to relate or connect with others
I see myself as less than others, or insignificant
I struggle to see my worth and feel unlovable
I get easily embarrassed
I have a high need for praise
I struggle with making mistakes
I strive hard to achieve
I have a hard time admitting when I'm wrong
I get easily angered or sad when given feedback or criticism
I justify my choices and behaviors
I know something is true in my head, but not in my heart (or believe it for others, but not for myself)
I feel undeserving of good things
I secretly believe I don't measure up to others
I believe I'm not good enough
I believe I have very few things to offer
I'm self-conscious around other people
I'm embarrassed about my feelings and emotions
I struggle with self-loathing or often feel victimized
I feel the need to wear a mask to hide from others
I use self-condemning words out loud or in my mind (like calling myself stupid over a small mistake)
I feel numb inside
I have a hard time connecting with others
I can feel lonely even in a crowded room
I feel like no one understands me
If you checked several of these, I want to gently say: you need support to work through this. Not shame about having shame, just support. Take it to the Lord. Take it to wise counsel. Naming it is the first step, but insight without action doesn't get you very far.
Scripture I Was Led To
Matthew 22:37-38 — the greatest commandment
Genesis 2:25, 3:1, 3:7, 3:9-10 — nakedness, the serpent, and hiding
Isaiah 49:8, 49:23, 50:4 — restoration and freedom for captives
Revelation 12:11 — overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony
Proverbs 3:5-6 — trust in the Lord, lean not on your own understanding
Matthew 5:13, 16 — salt and light
Ephesians 5:8-19 — children of light
Romans 8:14-17 — adoption, co-heirs with Christ
2 Corinthians 3:16-18 — unveiled faces, transformation
1 John 1:7 — the verse of the day I stumbled on after I'd already finished writing this episode. I love how the Lord confirms things.
Why This Episode Is a Day Late, On Purpose
By the time we got home last night, I was exhausted. I sat down to record and realized something: if I just pushed through to get it out on Monday because I said I would, that would've been me operating out of obligation and religion, not obedience. So I waited. I'm not telling you to be irresponsible. I'm telling you that showing up for what the Lord is actually asking of you, even when it doesn't match your own plan, is the whole message of this episode living itself out in real time.
This is a series. I've got a lot more angles on shame to bring you. I'll see you next week.

Wrapping Up the Spiritual Warfare Series
This episode closes out the spiritual warfare series I've been walking through, following the two episodes where my friend Katherine shared her testimony. I know some of this has gotten heavy, and for some of you, it's gotten controversial. I want to say up front, that's okay. You might hear things you haven't heard before, and you might not agree with all of it. I'm not asking you to. I'm asking you to sit with it, take it to the Lord, and let the Holy Spirit speak to you.
In this one, I'm focused on how the enemy actually gets access into our lives. Not through some dramatic breach, but through deception, small compromises, and things we've let become normal without ever asking why.
I start in Job 1. Job made it his regular practice to cover his kids in prayer and sacrifice, just in case they'd sinned. I'm grateful we don't have to offer sacrifices anymore. Jesus was the final one. But the posture Job modeled still applies. We cover our households through prayer, through seeking the Lord, through being good stewards of our time. I also want to correct something I hear often from clients: Job's suffering was not punishment. He didn't sin. Sometimes we're in a fiery season and it has nothing to do with us being punished. The promise was never that we'd avoid trouble. The promise is restoration.
I also point out that Satan is described as roaming and going back and forth on the earth. That's not an Old Testament detail we can file away. He's active, he's studying us, and this lines up with the roaring lion language in the New Testament.
From there I get into what I know will stir some pushback: how much of what Scripture explicitly names as forbidden has become completely normalized in our culture. Tarot cards at Target, witch costumes and cartoons for kids, astrology, crystals, Ouija boards, palm reading. I'm not judging anyone who's engaged in these things. You're accountable to the Lord, not to me. But I am making the case, using Scripture, that this is exactly how deception works. It doesn't look dangerous. It looks normal.
I use a military picture I've leaned on throughout this series: the enemy operating on interior lines. He doesn't have to breach our walls from outside because in Western culture especially, the door is already cracked from within. Culture, media, and our own flesh already give him access. He doesn't need to invade what's already lined up with his goals. He just has to maintain it.
Then I go deep on yoga, and I know this is the part that'll get the most reaction. I lean on a book called The Death of a Guru by David Hunt and Rabi Maharaj, who was raised in a long line of Hindu priests and trained as a yogi before coming to Christ. His argument, and mine, is that yoga can't be separated from its theological roots even when it's marketed here as stress relief or exercise. The word itself means to yoke or unite with Brahman. Specific poses were built as acts of devotion to specific Hindu deities. Sun salutation is a literal worship sequence to a sun god. Warrior pose, dancer pose, the poses tied to Hanuman, all of it traces back to something. Kundalini practice specifically invites what Scripture would call a familiar spirit, and I don't say that lightly. Om and Namaste aren't neutral sounds. They're theological statements.
Here's where I land, and I say this pastorally, not to shame anyone. The peace people feel in these practices is real. Maharaj says himself that the enemy doesn't have to lie about the feeling, only about the source. My encouragement is simple: do the stretching, do the breathing, it's good for your nervous system. Just don't call it yoga. Don't call it Christian yoga or holy yoga either. If we relabel something and keep the name, we normalize it for the next believer who's watching us and thinking it must be fine.
I also walk through some of the harder material in this episode, the sacrificial practices named in the Old Testament, because I felt convicted to include it even though it's uncomfortable. I connect it briefly to the Epstein files, not to sensationalize it, but because I think we have a responsibility to stay aware rather than put our heads in the sand. We don't have to live in fear of any of this. We just can't pretend it isn't real.
I close out with a fuller list of what Scripture names as occult and divination practices, divination, witchcraft, necromancy, consulting the dead, astrology, syncretism, all with their references, and I bring it home with 2 Kings 17, where Israel is exiled specifically because they adopted the practices of the nations around them. That's the whole point of this series. Mixing light and darkness has consequences, even when it feels harmless.
Next episode, I'm shifting into a new topic. Shame has been on my heart to go deeper into, since it's one of the primary ways the enemy keeps us from sharing the light of the gospel with others.
Scripture referenced
Job 1; Deuteronomy 7:25, 18:9-14, 32:16-17; Exodus 20:3-5, 23:13; 1 Corinthians 10:20-21; 2 Corinthians 6:14-17; Colossians 2:8; Acts 19:11-15; Leviticus 18:21, 19:31; 2 Kings 17, 23:5,10; Jeremiah 7:9-13, 32:35; Ezekiel 8:14-16; Isaiah 8:19, 44:9-20; Galatians 5:20; Romans 8:7; Ephesians 2:2

I am SO grateful for this episode, y'all. Katherine came back to finish sharing her testimony, and let me tell you — the depth of vulnerability here is a gift.
I open this episode the way I always do: if I were the enemy, if I hated God, how would I go after Him? I walk through Acts 16 — Paul, Lydia, and the slave girl with the spirit of divination — because I want us to remember that the enemy doesn't show up looking like the enemy. He masquerades as light. He looks good. He feels good. Just like the fruit in the garden.
Then Katherine takes  us on a journey sharing what it was like for her  back to being homeless, living in her car during the early days of COVID, working in the cannabis industry, and chasing relief from Lyme disease she didn't even know she had yet — through crystals, yoga, meditation, an online persona she called "Kween." She gets real about some genuinely frightening spiritual experiences in deep meditation, a moment of total surrender in an empty Gettysburg alley, and how God used a complete stranger, who became such a blessing — her friend Joy — to bring her in off the streets and, ultimately, straight to Jesus.
We walk through her salvation story over that spring and summer of 2020 — slower and more gradual than my own radical, overnight encounter, which is one of the things I love pointing out.
Not everybody's testimony looks the same, and that's okay.
We get into discernment around things like yoga and Ouija boards, her physical healing after years of chronic pain (wait until you hear the dental story — mercury fillings, abscessed teeth, and a bill God covered completely), and the long road of forgiveness she walked, especially toward her dad.
I also make sure we touch on the difference between being saved and being filled with the Holy Spirit, because that's a distinction a lot of believers miss. We talk about the warfare that follows deliverance, why true healing has to go deeper than just learning to cope, and we close it out talking about restoration, healthy boundaries with family, and trusting God even when nothing in the natural world makes sense.
Themes covered: spiritual deception, New Age practices and discernment, addiction recovery, chronic illness (Lyme disease), forgiveness, deliverance, being filled with the Holy Spirit, restoration.

In Part 6 of our Spiritual Warfare series, I sat down with my friend Katheryn for our very first co-hosted episode - and we will be co-hosting again for a PART 2 of her Story- This one is a "set up" for our next episode into Katheryn's testimony down a dark, twisty road into the New Age Movement! 
Kathryn is a woman with a radical testimony: raised Catholic, desperate for healing, and slowly drawn into crystals, energy work, tarot, and witchcraft — until one friend's bold obedience to the Holy Spirit changed everything to open her eyes, however, it led to fear, before it led to freedom! 
We cover a lot of ground in this part 1 episode of her story:
Why the enemy doesn't need to force his way in - he works through deception and our unmet legitimate needs
How culturally 'normal' practices (astrology, tarot cards, voodoo, crystals, yoga, manifesting) can be open doors that are not always obvious darkness
What witchcraft actually is at its root
The danger of returning to darkness after you've encountered truth
The power of bold, loving confrontation and intercessory prayer
Why the Church's failure to meet real human needs is driving people toward counterfeit community and counterfeit healing
This episode is NOT about shame or fear — it is about freedom. We are motivated by love and the call to help set the captives free (Isaiah 61).
The challenge of being sober-minded and vigilant with eyes open, and not falling into radicalism, religion, or fear. .it's a fine line, but there IS a line! 
Part 2 is coming — including more of Katheryn's testimony and a deep dive on yoga and the dark roots and practices that Yoga is steeped in! Stay tuned!
Scriptures Referenced
1 John 4:1-6 — Test the spirits
John 8:31-32 — You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free
Isaiah 61 — Binding up the brokenhearted, setting captives free
John 15:17 — Love one another
Ezekiel 36:26 — Heart of flesh, not stone
2 Peter 2:12-22 — The dog returning to its vomit
Ephesians 6:12 — We do not war against flesh and blood
 Key Takeaways
The enemy studies our needs and offers counterfeits — he has been doing this since Genesis
Legitimate needs (healing, belonging, comfort, connection) are not the problem — where we go to get them met is
Christians are not immune to deception — even Solomon fell
Walking in authority requires knowing the Word of God
"Seek the Healer, not just the healing — and the Healer will take you to the healing"
There is no condemnation in Christ — conviction is meant to lead us to repentance and freedom, not shame
Prayer is powerful — it was intercession that began Katheryn's journey out
Recommended Resources for Listeners (THEIR ARE SO MANY!) 
For anyone who wants to go deeper on the topic of spiritual warfare, here are are few of the highest-rated, most widely trusted resources available:
The Screwtape Letters — C.S. Lewis
A satirical masterpiece written from a senior demon's perspective - showing exactly how the enemy works through subtle deception, normalized temptation, and counterfeit comfort. Wildly convicting and surprisingly entertaining.
The Bondage Breaker — Neil T. Anderson
One of the most practical tools in Christian counseling. Leads readers from the shadows and shackles of spiritual bondage toward freedom — affirming identity in Christ and learning to confront the enemy's lies.
Victory Over the Darkness — Neil T. Anderson
Spiritual warfare 101. Walks readers verse by verse through a biblical worldview of the supernatural, renewing the mind and helping believers stand firm in their identity in Christ. Read alongside The Bondage Breaker.
Spiritual Warfare — Dr. Tony Evans
Dr. Evans reveals that every struggle in the physical realm has its root in the spiritual realm. Helps believers understand the battle, use the armor of God, and walk in Christ's authority over every stronghold.
Don't Give the Enemy a Seat at Your Table — Louie Giglio
Based on Psalm 23:5 — a battle-for-the-mind book that exposes the lies of the enemy and the danger of giving him a foothold in our thought life. Perfect for someone just waking up to spiritual warfare.
Live No Lies — John Mark Comer
Recognizes and resists the three enemies of the soul — the devil, the flesh, and the world. Written for a modern, culturally-engaged audience. Excellent for those coming from New Age or secular backgrounds.
Precious Remedies Against Satan's Devices — Thomas Brooks (Puritan Classic)
A timeless Puritan classic that outlines the many subtle ways the enemy entices believers — and gives specific biblical remedies for each. Deep, rich, and enduringly relevant for any serious student of Scripture.
Waking the Dead — John Eldredge 
A beautifully written, heart-level engagement with the reality of spiritual warfare and the battle for the soul. Helps readers understand the story they live in and the role they were made to play.Also check out "Derek Prince" as a resource- there are MANY good options- let me know if you find one that speaks to you! 
🔗 Connect with Dani
Website: rootedrefinedrestored.com
Podcast: War on Love: If I Were the Devil
Email: hello@rootedrefinedandrestored.com
What the enemy meant for your destruction, God uses to bring beauty for ashes.

Happy Monday, friend. We are five episodes deep into the Spiritual Warfare series and I am not slowing down - because there is still SO much to cover on this topic! And the more I read, study, and discuss with others, I feel more and more passion and conviction to share what I am! 
In this episode, I'm building on the military framework (because THIS IS WAR!) we've been working through and getting into two powerful strategic concepts: the indirect approach and interior lines. In military strategy, the indirect approach means attacking where the enemy least expects it - dislocating before engaging. In the spiritual realm? That looks like division through offense, mixing truth with error, and the slow creep of compromise through comfort and distraction.
Interior lines is where it gets really personal. A military force on interior lines can shift troops faster than a surrounding enemy. Here's the spiritual reality: Satan is already the prince of the power of the air. He doesn't need to breach your walls from outside when the door is already cracked from within. That's what we're talking about today.
 
We also walk through four ways deception operates as the enemy's primary weapon:
Misidentifying the enemy - turning on one another instead of recognizing the real threat
Counterfeit wisdom - doubt dressed as intellectual honesty, religious activity substituted for intimacy with God
Counterfeit peace - spiritual numbness that feels like rest, busyness that feels like purpose
The Operation Fortitude Effect — smoke and mirrors that get you defending the wrong position, burning your own energy
And then I'm going to call out some things happening in our culture right now that I believe are a direct fulfillment of what Deuteronomy 18 warned us about — and what Paul saw happening in the early church. Tarot cards at Target, horoscopes in Christian conversation, sage practices being normalized - none of this happened by accident.
This is not about fear. This is about discernment. The enemy doesn't look like the enemy. He masquerades as light — and if we believe Scripture, we have to take that seriously.
I also share from Job 1, one of the most clarifying passages in all of Scripture for understanding how spiritual access and protection work - and what Job's practice of covering his family spiritually looked like.
Coming up next: I'm sitting down with my friend Katherine, who was deeply involved in New Age practices before she came to Christ. Her story and insight are going to bring so much of what we've been building to life. You will not want to miss it.
 
As always, go straight to the Lord, go straight to your Bible. I don't want to be one more voice you follow blindly. I want to point you to the One who is the way, the truth, and the life.
 
Scriptures Referenced in This Episode
All references are NIV unless otherwise noted.
Anchor Verse
Ephesians 6:12 — For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
The Greatest Commandment
Matthew 22:37–38 — Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.
Deception & Masquerade
2 Corinthians 11:1–3 — I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy... But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.
2 Corinthians 11:12–15 — For such people are false apostles, deceitful workers, masquerading as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.
John 8:44 — He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
Counterfeit Wisdom & Lukewarm Faith
2 Timothy 3:5 — Having a form of godliness but denying its power.
Revelation 3:17 — You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.
Revelation 12:10 — ...the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night...
Do Not Adopt the Practices of Other Nations
Deuteronomy 18:9–12 — When you come into the land which the Lord your God is giving you, you shall not learn to follow the abominations of those nations. There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, or one who practices witchcraft, or a soothsayer, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who conjures spells, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. For all who do these things are an abomination to the Lord.
Acts 19 — Power in the Name of Jesus
Acts 19:11–12 — God was performing extraordinary miracles through Paul's hands, so that even handkerchiefs and aprons that had touched him were taken to the sick, and their illnesses were cured and the evil spirits left them.
Acts 19:15 — The evil spirit answered them, 'Jesus I know, and Paul I know about, but who are you?'
Acts 19:17–19 — When this became known to all the Jews and Greeks living in Ephesus, they were all seized with fear, and the name of the Lord Jesus was held in high honor. Many of those who believed now came and openly confessed what they had done. A number who had practiced sorcery brought their scrolls together and burned them publicly.
Acts 20:30 — Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them.
Job — Spiritual Access, Protection & Testing
Job 1:4 — His sons used to hold feasts in their homes on their birthdays, and they would invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. When a period of feasting had run its course, Job would make arrangements for them to be purified... 'Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.' This was Job's regular custom.
Job 1:6–7 — One day the angels came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them. The Lord said to Satan, 'Where have you come from?' Satan answered the Lord, 'From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.'
Job 1:8–12 — 'Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.' ... 'The Lord said to Satan, 'Very well then. Everything he has is in your power. But on the man himself do not lay a finger.'
Connect With Danielle
Website: daniellenicolecoaching.com
Email: hello@daniellenicolecoaching.com
Podcast: War on Love — available on Podbean, Apple, Youtube, Spotify, and all major platforms
 

Wolves in the Church: Spiritual Warfare at the Operational Level | War on Love Podcast
This week we're continuing our spiritual warfare series -and this episode might step on some toes. I'm going there anyway, because truth spoken in love is still love.
Last week we looked at the anatomy of spiritual war. This week we're zooming in on the operational level - how Satan works within nations, cultures, and systems, and specifically how his strategies show up inside the church.
If I were the enemy, the church is exactly where I'd plant my moles.
In this episode, I cover:
The three levels of spiritual warfare - strategic, operational, and tactical - and why the operational level matters so much for believers today
War Strategy #1: The Mole - false brothers planted within the church to steal freedom, create confusion, and lead people astray (Matthew 7:15, Galatians 2:4)
War Strategy #2: Divide and Conquer - how disunity within the church (and within ourselves) dismantles our shared mission and keeps us from love
The slippery slope of intermingling ungodly practices with Christian faith - and why I personally draw the lines where I do
How to tell the wolf from the sheep when both sides are convinced they're right
Why "just read the Bible" is sometimes used as a weapon, not wisdom
The danger of isolation - and why God said even before the fall, "It is not good for man to be alone"
Why Paul publicly called out deception in the early church - and why we still need to do that today
Scriptures referenced:
Matthew 22:37-38
John 10:10
Isaiah 14:14
2 Corinthians 4:4
Romans 12:2
1 Kings 11:1-4
Colossians 2:4, 8, 16-18, 20
Galatians 2:4, 11 / Galatians 3:1
Ephesians 2
Next week: We move into the tactical level - how the enemy comes after us individually through deception, identity confusion, temptation, accusation, discouragement, and fear. Don't miss it.
If this episode blessed you, share it with someone who needs it. And if you've been bound by religion, law, or false doctrine - I'm praying this is the episode that starts breaking that off of you. In Jesus' name.
Connect with Dani:📧 hello@daniellenicolecoaching.com🌐 rootedrefinedrestored.com

You were never meant to fight this war blindly.
If life has felt like an unrelenting series of attacks - the persistent shame, the fear that hits out of nowhere, the bitterness that won't lift, the lies that somehow feel like truth - there's a reason. You're in a war that started long before you were born, and the enemy is counting on you not knowing the rules of engagement.
In this episode, I break down spiritual warfare the same way a military strategist breaks down a battle. Because the truth is, the enemy's tactics aren't new, they aren't creative, and they aren't hidden. Once you can name his weapons and recognize his fingerprints, you stop fighting blind — and you start fighting from the authority you've already been given in Christ.
This is Part 1 of my Spiritual Warfare series: Understanding the War.
What You'll Discover:
Why the greatest commandment — to love — makes you a target, and why the enemy works to keep you from loving fully
The two opponents, the origin of the conflict, and how this battle began before creation
The enemy's actual weapons: lies, accusation, shame, fear, and division — and why he's "not that creative"
How his primary strategy against believers is erosion, not brute force
The rules of engagement — why Satan operates on a leash God still holds
The warning signs of spiritual attack on a personal, cultural, and global level
Why studying Scripture is intelligence-gathering, not just comfort
The hierarchy of power, and why knowing your rank is not the same as using your weapons
Why authority flows from relationship with Christ, not formula or box-checking (the sons of Sceva, Acts 19)
The real battleground: your mind — and how to take every thought captive
Scriptures Referenced: Matthew 22:37-38 · 1 Peter 5:8 · Ephesians 6:12 · John 8:44 · Isaiah 54:17 · 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 · Isaiah 14:12-13 · Revelation 12:7,17 · 2 Corinthians 2:11 · Job 1:12 · 1 Corinthians 10:13 · Matthew 4:1 · Ephesians 4:26-27 · 2 Corinthians 11:14 · Ephesians 1:20-21 · Ephesians 2:6 · Colossians 2:10 · Luke 10:19 · 2 Timothy 1:7 · Matthew 18:18 · Acts 19:13 · Romans 12:2 · Proverbs 4:23
Remember this: You have a real enemy with a real strategy. His weapons are lies, accusation, shame, and the spirit of fear. This conflict predates you — but you're in it. There are rules, God holds the leash, and we already know who wins. The battle is mostly waged in your mind. So renew it.
Part 2 drops next week, where we'll tackle this war from a different angle.
If this episode challenged or encouraged you, would you share it with someone who needs it — and leave a quick review so it can reach the people looking for exactly this?
Connect with me: daniellenicolecoaching.com  hello@daniellenicolecoaching.com

EPISODE TITLE: Why You Can't Love Like Christ Yet — And What Your Wounds Have to Do With It (How Fiery Trials Lead Us Into More Christ-like Love)
This week I'm doing something a little different - I'm sharing a message I gave at church on May 31st, 2026, for our worship night.
And it might be the most personal thing I've shared publicly to a congregation (excluding when I share my testimony for recovery meetings!)
As a trauma therapist and faith-based relationship coach, I sit across from Christians every week who love Jesus, pray, go to church, do all the "right" things - and still can't seem to access the peace, love, and freedom Christ promised. This episode is my attempt to bridge that gap: between neuroscience and Scripture, between head knowledge and heart transformation.
I share my own story - growing up without a father, addiction and abuse in my home, getting saved at 19, and what it's actually taken to heal (not just cope).
I also get real about my marriage, attachment wounds, and why the fiery trial you're in right now might be the very doorway God is using to bring you into deeper freedom.
In this episode, you'll discover: Why coping strategies alone will never bring true freedom - and what Jesus actually came to do
The HHOW acronym: Humility, Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness
Four heart conditions that block love: wounded, anxious, bitter, and hardened How your early attachment style is still quietly driving the way you love today Why marriage is "the great exposer" — and why that's actually a gift from God Defense mechanisms we share with the animal kingdom (and how to move past them)
The gift of desperation: why fiery trials are often the doorway to transformation
Why vulnerability — not strength — is the path to more of what Christ has for you
Scriptures Referenced: 1 Corinthians 13 | 1 John 4:7 | Romans 12:1 | Isaiah 61:3 | John 16:33 | Genesis 2:17-18 | Genesis 3 | Genesis 50:20 | Deuteronomy 31:6 | 2 Corinthians 12:9 | Romans 8:28 | Matthew 22:37-39
Note: Next week we return to Episode 3 of our spiritual warfare series - The Strategy of Enemy Attacks. See you then.
Connect with Danielle: 🌐 www.daniellenicolecoaching.com 📧 hello@daniellenicolecoaching.com
 

War on Love Podcast
Episode Summary
Spiritual Warfare Series | Know Your Enemy: Who Is Satan & How He Operates
Do you know who your real enemy is — and how he actually operates?
In this episode of War on Love, Danielle opens the second installment of the Spiritual Warfare series by tackling one of the most foundational — and most misunderstood — questions in the Christian faith: Who is the enemy, really?
Rooted in Scripture and grounded in real-life application, this episode walks you through a biblical portrait of Satan — his names, his origin, his character, and his tactics — so you can stop being blindsided and start standing firm. Because you cannot win a war you don't understand.
 
In This Episode:
Why the Greatest Commandment (Matthew 22:37-39) is the lens for everything — and how the enemy works to keep us from living it
The difference between shame-based self-blame and grandiosity — and why both are enemy strategies
Who Satan actually is: his names (adversary, devil, Beelzebub, Lucifer), his origin, and the pride that led to his fall (Isaiah 14, Ezekiel 28, Luke 10:18)
How Satan operates — as a liar, accuser, prowling lion, and angel of light (1 Peter 5:8, 2 Corinthians 11:14)
Why Christians are actually his primary targets — and what that means for your home, heart, and church
The enemy's tactics in the wilderness: how he used partial truths to tempt Jesus, and how to fight back with Scripture (Matthew 4:1-11)
What the story of Judas teaches us about spiritual battles that are bigger than us (Luke 22:3)
How Satan blinds unbelievers — and why that should shift how we see people, not just judge them (2 Corinthians 4:4)
The defeated enemy: why the cross changed everything and what that means for your daily life (Colossians 2:15, Hebrews 2:14)
The Wizard of Oz analogy — and why FEAR is just false evidence appearing real
A preview of next week: how military warfare strategies mirror the enemy's playbook
 
Scripture References in This Episode:
Matthew 22:37-39 • Job 1:2, 1:12, 2:6 • Isaiah 14:12-15 • Ezekiel 28:12-17 • Luke 10:18 • John 8:44 • 1 Peter 5:8 • 2 Corinthians 11:14 • Matthew 4:1-11 • Luke 22:3 • 2 Corinthians 4:4 • Hebrews 2:14 • Colossians 2:15 • Romans 8:28 • Revelation 20:2, 20:10 • Hebrews 11:1
 
If This Episode Resonated With You:
You don't have to stay stuck in bondage, anxiety, or deception. The power that raised Christ from the dead lives in you — and you were never meant to live like a bird in a cage with the door wide open.
Connect with Danielle at daniellenicolecoaching.com to learn more about trauma-informed, faith-rooted coaching for Christian women and couples navigating betrayal, shame, and relationship repair. If you are in Pennsylvania and seeking therapy services for trauma healing, I offer virtual, in-person, and intensives to go deep to the root of grief, shame, trauma, through EMDR or Brainspotting. Submit a consult www.trinitywellnessgroup.com
Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs to know: the enemy is real, but so is the One who already defeated him.

If I Were the Devil: The War on Love
Spiritual Warfare, False Doctrine & Why Prayer Alone Isn't Enough
Spiritual Warfare Series | Episode 1
 
What if the greatest trick the enemy is pulling on the church right now isn’t convincing people he doesn’t exist — but convincing believers they don’t need to do anything beyond praying more?
In this episode, Danielle kicks off a brand-new series on spiritual warfare — and she’s not mincing words. Drawing from her 20+ years in the helping professions, her own personal testimony of betrayal recovery and sobriety, and her training as a trauma therapist and certified professional coach, she takes on some of the most misused scriptures in the church and asks the hard question: are we giving the enemy exactly the foothold he needs by over-spiritualizing everything?
 
In This Episode:
What it really means to be a “new creation in Christ” — and how this scripture gets taken out of context to keep people from seeking healing
Why Ephesians 6:12 doesn’t mean your flesh doesn’t matter — and why over-spiritualizing your struggle may be the enemy’s favorite tactic
False doctrine, religious rules, and wolves in sheep’s clothing — what Colossians 2 says about man-made teaching vs. scripture
How the enemy studies human patterns to exploit unhealed wounds — even without reading your thoughts
Why hypocrisy in the church is costing people their faith — and what Brennan Manning got so right about it
Danielle’s defining statement: “Salvation is sanctification of the soul. Recovery is sanctification of the flesh.”
A teaser for next week: who is the enemy, really? And a fresh look at Romans 12:2
 
Scriptures Referenced:
Matthew 22:37-38 — The Greatest Commandment
2 Corinthians 5:16-17 — New Creation in Christ
Colossians 2:20-23 — False humility and human commands
Ephesians 6:12 — The Full Armor of God
Romans 12:2 — Renewing the mind
Ecclesiastes 1:2, 9-11 — Nothing new under the sun
 
“Salvation is sanctification of the soul.
Recovery is sanctification of the flesh.”
— Danielle Lew
 
This Episode Is For You If…
You’ve been told that praying more is the only answer to your struggle — and something feels off about that
You’re a believer walking in bondage and can’t figure out why faith alone isn’t setting you free
You’ve experienced hurt, confusion, or spiritual abuse inside the church and are trying to find solid ground
You love Jesus and want to walk in real freedom — in your body, your mind, and your relationships
You want to understand spiritual warfare without fear, hype, or bypassing
 
About Your Host
Danielle Lew is a licensed trauma therapist (LCSW), APSATS-certified betrayal trauma coach, and Brainspotting/EMDR practitioner based in Gettysburg, PA. She brings 20+ years in the helping professions, personal lived experience with betrayal recovery and sobriety, and a radical love for Jesus to everything she does. Her mission: to help believers stop living in bondage and start walking in the freedom Christ died to give them.
 
Connect & Keep Going:
Website: www.daniellenicolecoaching.com
Email: hello@daniellenicolecoaching.com
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Episode Tags:
spiritual warfare | Christian inner healing | false doctrine | faith-based recovery | Christian podcast | betrayal trauma | church hurt | faith and mental health | new creation in Christ | prayer and healing | Ephesians 6 | full armor of God | Christian women | Christian counseling | sobriety and faith | sanctification | freedom in Christ | Danielle Lew
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